Give Them a Break Foster Parent Respite

Your average baby sitter doesn’t have the qualifications to care for a foster child.

State law requires that caretakers for foster children undergo criminal background checks and training in CPR and how to maintain a child-proof home.

These precautions are designed to prevent child abuse, but they add to the pressure on foster parents in Napa County.

“I’ve got to put him someplace,” said Pat Wells, a 54-year-old Napa foster parent of an elementary school-age child. “There’s been times where I’ve called a social worker and said ‘I’m up in Angwin. He just got suspended from school. You’ve got to take him.’”

But local advocates are hoping to raise money, and awareness, to find solutions for foster care parents who need a break through a “respite care” program. The foster parents would get the respite, and the foster children would get the care.

Joan Lockhart, director of a local nonprofit called ParentsCAN, is pushing local officials and private sector advocates to seek more funding. “We’re going to raise money by writing grants and by appealing to the government agencies that serve these families and help them understand how important a service this is for families’ success,” she said.

ParentsCAN is taking its cue on promoting respite care from a community group called Foster Care Advocates, which is mounting a campaign to bolster the county’s more than 100 foster children and their families.

Advocates say allowing parents who raise children with special challenges time away from the children is essential to maintaining healthy homes. The need for respite is particularly great for foster parents, who open their homes to abused and neglected children under a series of sometimes maddening state regulations designed to protect children.

They also face popular misconceptions about why they become foster parents.

At home, they do things like build six-foot fences around their swimming pools to comply with state law. In the community, they face myths that they’re in it for the money. Often, foster parents say, the few hundred dollars per month the government gives them for care of a foster child doesn’t cover the needs of the child. Families spend their own money to cover it.

Nonetheless, said Peggy Smith, a 47-year-old foster parent from Napa. “It’s rewarding. It’s very challenging, but it’s one of the best things I’ve done in my life.”

Wells said she doesn’t treat her foster children any differently than her biological children.

“When I buy a pair of shoes for a child, I’m going to buy a pair that’s going to last for more than two months,” she said, adding respite is essential for a good foster home. “It is absolutely not about the money, but you need the rest because of the stress.”

Many times, foster parents broker deals with each other to get respite care, but they quickly exhaust the modest stipend provided by the government — when money is available.

Linda Canan, director of Napa County Child Services, said money for respite care is often spotty and not set aside specifically for that purpose.

“I would describe our ability to provide respite care ... as patchy,” she said. “There are some limited funds that are available but there is not a cohesive service.”

Canan said state sources made about $8,660 available locally last year that could be used for respite care, but it also could be used for much-needed things like math tutoring for foster kids.

“It’s really hard to balance that money,” Canan said. “Do you use it for respite or do you use it for a specific child’s need?”

Lockhart said it is a good idea to push respite programs right now because the state is making grant money available.

“We feel this is a good opportunity for us,” Lockhart said. She said state funding could support a local government agency “that would be at least partly dedicated to do screening and training” of respite care providers.

The needs of foster children and families have become more high profile in Napa lately. At Napa County Supervisor Bill Dodd’s most recent Christmas fundraiser, Dodd’s supporters raised more than $30,000 for a foster care program to provide new school clothes and other items to foster children.

“Clearly there was such a huge need and it was doable,” Dodd said. “So often today in so many areas no matter how much money you raise it’s never enough.”

" I have done respite care in the past and plan to in the near future. I would like to encourage people to support ParentsCAN's efforts to recruit respite care providers, as I have seen first hand, the tremendous benefit the fanily gains from our help... and the personal fulfillment is priceless! "

" Peggy Smith is a wonderful loving person. Any child that is placed in her home will be blessed by total love and devotion "

" Caring for foster children is a ministry for Tom and Peggy Smith, something they feel called to do. In addition to caring for a busy family, Peggy is a registered nurse and Tom works with families at times of great loss. Tom and Peggy teach, by example, the rewards of a life of service to others. "

" I think Peggy and Tom Smith are wonderful people. To adopt two children in addition to their three biological children as well as taking on more foster children requires an incredible amount of love, patience and sacrifice. What a wonderful picture for our community! "

" Mrs. Smith has a big wonderful heart full of love and her children are so lucky to have her. It is always a pleasure to see her when she comes into our clinic. Bless you "